|The day my daddy died.|
Right now our days are sort of divided between unpacking and settling into our new house, and mourning my daddy. There's a strange contrast between the newness of a brand new house and planning the garden that we're going to grow, and the emptiness and finality that death brings.
At the same time, I have the strongest sense that I haven't lost my dad. Although he's not here to talk to or answer all of the questions that keep popping up ("Where did you put Espen's bath toys? How are we related to this person?"), the relationship I had with him remains in tact. I still have a father that loves me, adores my children, disapproves of many of my decisions and is ultimately quite proud of the person I have become. That hasn't changed. But now the nature of that relationship is different, and that is what I am learning to adjust to right now. It's going to take a while, and I know that my heart is going to carry a little sorrow for a long time to come. The good news is that a human heart can hold both sorrow and joy, and my life is such a good one with so much to be happy about. Like the little girl lying beside me as I type, blowing spit bubbles and having a chat with the ceiling fan.
In summary, I feel like I am a little bit out of commission right now. A little bit prone to bursting into tears when people are nice to me. A little bit prone to getting lost in my own thoughts. But also a little bit prone to ignoring the boxes that need unpacking so I can play with my children. To wrapping my arms around my husband because I just want to be close. To feeling immeasurably grateful for the love of our family and friends.
Be a little patient with me.
So SO beautifully said.ReplyDelete
"The good news is that a human heart can hold both sorrow and joy."
I'm so sorry to hear about your father. Though it was expected, it's painful it is to lose somebody you love so much. It is a gift you were able to get to Norway in time to say goodbye. I'm glad to see you pop-up on the blog.ReplyDelete
I am so very sorry to hear about your father. I lost my dad a year and a half ago, and I know just what you mean about wanting to cry when people are kind to you. And I loved what you said about the human heart being able to hold both sorrow and joy. It is so very true.ReplyDelete
What a blessing to be able to spend some last, sweet moments with your dad. I'm so grateful you got to.ReplyDelete
What a beautiful post. You seriously write out ideas and thoughts SO profoundly and well.
I really wish I could have come last night IF ONLY to give you a big, long hug. Expect it next time I see you, my Tamsin!!
Veldig leit å høre om faren din. Men bra dere kom før det skjedde da.ReplyDelete
Syns det er veldig fint det du skriver, om at hjertet kan ha både gleder og sorger på en gang. :)
Godt at du kan glede deg over ting i livet også :)
I'm sorry to hear about your father. I'm glad you were able to go to Norway to say goodbye to him. I came here from the Ravelry blogging group. I like your blog a lot. I'm a new follower and looking forward to reading more. :)ReplyDelete
"The good news is that a human heart can hold both sorrow and joy, and my life is such a good one with so much to be happy about." That's my favourite line.ReplyDelete
I'm sorry about your dad. But thank you for your perspective. :)