Be Here Now.
|Image borrowed from SevenQuotes.com
So, let's talk New Year's Resolutions! I know it's January 13th, and most people are supposed to have stereotypically broken and abandoned theirs by now, but true to form, I'm running about two weeks behind the rest of the world, and am still feeling reformy and ready to turn over a new leaf. This year, though, rather than making the usual list of resolutions, I am going with a New Year's Motto:
Be Here Now.
By that, I mean a few things. First of all, I mean stop living distracted and pay attention to my own life that is happening all around me in this precise moment. I am especially guilty of keeping my nose glued to a screen (my phone! Always my phone!) and not really being present for the people around me. For my husband or my children. Isn't that kind of horrible? That it's a genuine struggle for me to stop playing around with my phone to pay attention to the people who matter most. If I was going to be completely honest with you, I might tell you that Espen once referred to my phone as my "friend". I might also tell you that I often busy myself with my phone or the laptop or the iPad while watching TV, instead of cuddling up to my sweet husband like any sane woman in my situation should do.
Similarly, I want to pay more attention to my life as it is right now. I spend so much time trying to get things done that I end up not doing the things I really should be doing. I can't tell you how many times I've caught myself telling Espen that I can't play with him because I have "boring mom stuff" to do. And how many times when Gwen wanted my attention, have I simply scooped her onto my hip while I kept on cooking/cleaning/doing the laundry. I recently read this response to the question "I wish someone had told me..." on Design Mom, and it has really stuck with me: "I wish someone had told me that life would go by so fast. It was only yesterday that the kids were crawling and now they are in University. I would have played more games. I would have been goofier. I would have laid on the ground and looked at more stars with them. I would have taken more moments to just sit and BE with them in the moment. Those quiet moments are beautiful and I always want more." So when I remind myself to "be here now", I'm telling myself to put away the trivial and focus on the essential. I want to crawl around on the playroom floor with the kids and really play with them without constantly asking myself how soon I can excuse myself so I can go and fold laundry. I really hope that my children will remember me from this stage of their lives as a mom who played and had time for them.
Finally, I want "be here now" to tell me to live my life right here and now. To stop waiting for special magical moments like New Year's Day, Mondays, "when the kids start school" to make the changes and do the things I would like to do. In the words of Dieter F. Uchtdorf (and thanks to our home teacher for the article!):, ""An old proverb says, “The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second-best time is now.” There is something wonderful and hopeful about the word There is something empowering about the fact that if we choose to decide now, we can move forward at this very moment."
Of course there are things to consider and balances to be found in all of this. But in this precise moment as I type this from the corner of my couch, my children are milling about my feet, waiting for the moment when I close the laptop, look them in the eyes and say "Now I'm here!"
Right about now.